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The answer to my equally desperate
question ‘How to give birth painlessly?’,
was only a mildy-effective epidural and a
strongly guilty shrug. And now it feels so
ironic to read your question, baby,
when you google ‘How to commit suicide
painlessly?’

When you were born, they explained to
me that sadness, worry and tiredness are
all symptoms of post partum depression
which lasts for a few days after birth.
But years later, I still felt sad, worried and
tired each time you were late in coming
home. Imagine what I feel when I see you
researching ‘how to commit suicide
painlessly.’

Life and death, much like birth, can never
be painless, darling. Yet, being your mum
is worth ten times the labour pain I had to
endure giving birth to you. See, only life
can offer you love, joy, laughter, adventure,
Messi and Iron man. Death is just a
blanket of everlasting pain for those you
leave behind. Which means there’s no real
answer to ‘how to commit suicide
painlessly?’